I have a 5-year old daughter who is very sensitive and outgoing. She has a friend who she has known since she was two years old. In the last year, this girl has started to be really mean to my daughter, to the point where my daughter comes home crying. Some of the things the girl says are downright mean, especially when a third girl enters the scene. The friend will say to my daughter, “you’re not my friend anymore, I don’t like you” and turn her back on my daughter or tease her with the help of the third person if there is one.
Article continues below...
Advertisement
I never thought this kind of behavior would happen at such a young age but it has. I try to console my daughter night after night by explaining to her that she has many other friends and maybe this one girl just wanted to have some other friends too. Luckily she’s got thick skin and is happy with her family and her other friends, but what do you say to your kids when they are being bullied or mocked?
08.15.08 @ 11:58 am
Take it up with the parent of the child or the principal at school to resolve the issue.
08.15.08 @ 3:26 pm
Although it is not allways easy to explain to children about others actions, the key is to assure them to always be nice and treat others as they wish to be treated. It will always pay off later in life. My first comment on this subject is….Where are the adults? Most children at 5 still need some type of super vision. (for this very reason) I have all boys and they are 25 23 & 11 so I have been round and round with the bullied and teasing. I would call the other parent, explain the situation, and explain that the children may need a little break. Most children when they play in groups of three or more allways “comepete” for others attention or friendship. They are young and will get over it. If it takes a week of Sally not playing with Bully Betty and Betty knows that she cannot play with Sally because she was mean and said she didnt want to be friends anymore, mabie Betty will learn from her actions and start to try and be nice to Sally from now on. As always offer a reward when they play together and there were no feeling hurt. Ss simple as a $1.00 sunday at Mc Donalds. (or from your own freezer) Keep in touch with the other parent and be on the same path. The girls will grow to be the best of friends and probly go to college together. Kids realy learn alot by respecting others friendship no matter how old they are. Good luck, take care and have a great weekend, Veronica
08.16.08 @ 10:02 am
well when i was a littlegirl i was mean but thats only because i had to be ,i had to be tough and protect my siblings but ,the parents shouldnt be mad theres ALWAYS a real reason why little kids act the way they do, they may not want to tell you at first or, they just dont know how so they act it out there is some way to get into your kids just find a diffrent method for talking to them that way you talk at their age the way they can understand you because if you talk to them the way you would to another adult they dont understand and they get frustrated and yell some more so, never go down to their level were you both are yelling cause it will go no were seeing as how i went through this as a younger kid were my mom helped me out, i stopped being a mean kid and started being a nice kid so, as a ” ll coolj once said,” “never give up , keep your head up!”.
08.17.08 @ 1:35 pm
I often wonder if we really take into consideration that our children are mirror images of ourselves. We often forget that they learn everything from us and behave according to how they see us act. My point is that this girls’ parents (the mean girls) must not be great people, if they were their child would be friendly and loving instead of mean and hurtful.
If I were you I would also consider the fact that maybe, and I say maybe because I don’t know you or her so hear me out, no offense meant………but maybe you were bullied in the past and learned the victim role which you passed on to your child and her passive energy allows for such behavior. All of this is pure speculation so again please don’t be offended, just take a step back, be an observer and if you find that your daughter is too passive, do something about it, you can’t change the mean girls but you can change your daughter, and you can change her coping mechanisms.
Be well, peace, love and light,
Tara
08.19.08 @ 11:32 am
My daughter went through the same last year in PRE-K! The crazy thing is, it made her want to be friends with the “mean” kids even more. They were a group that played together in school and at home as well. I first tried to explain to my sensitive daughter that sometimes kids are mean, and if they tell you to go away, best it to do so and keep your distance from people that make you feel sad. The teacher was informed of this particular groups “clicky” behavior and tried to extinguish as much of the click as she could while in school. It really was a surprise to me how little girls had these behaviors so early! My daughter is ok now and entering Kindergarten in a few weeks. I know I will have to remind her often of how wonderful she is and that mean people do not make good friends. Keep your daughter close, teenagers are worse!!
08.19.08 @ 4:27 pm
These so-called mean children either have been allowed to get by with unacceptable behavior and are spoiled brats, or they are victims of abuse that are acting out.
In either case I don`t think your child should have to put up with this treatment.
Tell her to be kind and treat others well, but have her find some other children to be friends with.
Let her know that some children have come from abusive or unright backgrounds.
Tell her that it`s not okay to treat others in this way.
08.22.08 @ 6:49 am
I have been a preschool teacher for 10 years now, and have seen a lot of this. I am also a mother of a 5 year old girl and a 10 year old boy.
The girls always seem to start this behavior around the age of 4. This is a time when they are trying to figure out where they belong. It is very sad, but soooo common. I would definately talk to the other little girls mother and very nicely explain what is going on. Chances are her little girl isn’t a mean girl, she is probably mocking the behavior of someone else and using manipulation to try and get her way when your daughter doesn’t go a long with what she wants. Adults do the same thing, but usually not so up front. I think we just have to keep teaching our children that they are going to run into many different behaviors from other children, and the best policy is to be kind to others and never do anything that you know is wrong or you are uncomfortable with. It is tough now, and especially tough when we, the parents, can’t always be right there.
08.22.08 @ 9:56 am
Try the opposite approach. A preschooler was being mean to my daughter, and she would cry in the car almost every day when I picked her up from school. I approached the child and the mother at the Christmas pagent, introduced myself, and invited the little girl over to play during the break. Her little girl seemed very excited to play with my daughter, and she did come over during the week. They played very nicely alone together away from this girls “click”, and my daughter never had another problem with her once they returned to school. No more tears and the mom and I became very friendly. I would invite the girl over, then on a differnt occasion, the “third” girl. You can never have too many friends.
08.26.08 @ 10:33 am
this girl isn’t very mature and u know she will change and that her personality will too.
so the only solution is to talk to her parent about the her mean words toward your girl,
i think girls at this age should be tought respect from their own parents.